Dear Saint Nick (Not The One In Tuscaloosa This Year Please!)

"Hey Santa, we’re good people down here, and we follow the rules — a lot more nice than naughty — so why did it take so long to get  rewarded with our gifts for good conduct?"

A belated letter to Saint Nick:

Sorry for the tardiness, but frankly, we didn’t know if you were still accepting our letters from down here after two years with no response. We recently found out that our letters were going to the wrong Saint Nick and apparently wound up in Tuscaloosa. Fortunately, we just got your good address and decided to write even though we were late, so just apply it onto next year if necessary.

Frankly, Santa, we’re having problems keeping up with the new calendar brought on by the 12-team playoff and have some questions about why things are as they are. For instance…

What about the cycle of success, when history seemingly gets it wrong and your team is on the downside? It starts to feel like fate is conspiring against you. After all, in the charmed culture of winning, you are supposed feel entitled by earned stripes and anticipated blessings as normal, like you are exempt from the curse of failure. So this lack of success was mistakenly delivered to the wrong door and therefore the reversed fortune surely must be an anomaly. 

Over the decades, Gator fans have  experienced healthy sample sizes of both. The difference is that the stench of losing never goes away and it takes much more than hard work to get back on top of the mountain.  

When all else fails, when you must resort to mystical intervention, we may chose to invoke your Santa Claus effect, hoping and wishing against reality because that’s all we’ve got left.

Hey, we’re good people down here, and we follow the rules — a lot more nice than naughty — so why did it take so long to get  rewarded with our gifts for good conduct? 

Conversely, with somebody like Billy Napier at the helm, we were beginning to wonder what was the deal with nothing to show for patience except lumps of coal in our stockings for nearly three years.

Santa, you finally showed up in November, 2024, and we almost didn’t recognize you. Welcome back Daddy White Beard! We’re happy that you’re packing the good stuff in that sleigh again.

I do have this one complaint. Can you send us guys in the real media a code breaker so we can decipher what’s going on with all this player buying and stealing and jumping bean mentality? These are the good times again and the Gasparilla Bowl made it feel like the Good Lord was smiling down on the Gators again.

However this has been a rough few days and sometimes it felt like things were slipping away. It felt like they were coming from everywhere to pick off Gator players. This time it was the news that starting LB Shemar James had declared for the NFL Draft. James, a junior linebacker who was second in tackles (64) this season and declared for the draft via Instagram. In 2024, he recorded 25 solo tackles and 2 sacks. 

James and Elijah Badger joined a continuously growing list of Gators to have declared for the draft, including Graham Mertz, Jason Marshall Jr., Cam Jackson, Derek Wingo, Montrell Johnson Jr.and Jeremy Crawshaw. On the plus side was the landing of four of the Top 10 recruits from the state — WR Dallas Wilson (via Oregon), WR VernellBrown, S Hilton Stubbs and CB Ben Hanks. Oh yeah, and the pickup of UCLA star receiver Michael Sturdivant.

Talk about targets for wunderkind QB DJ Lagway!

Receivers Room

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Dallas Wilson

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Vernell Brown

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Tre Wilson

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Aidan Mizell

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Tank Hawkins

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Naeshaun Montgomery

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ J. Michael Sturdivant 

Thank you Sugar Daddy Santa! We love what we ‘re used to college football — we really do — but we worry about its life expectancy. 

I’ll make this short and to the point.  And BTW, thanks for your real live interview in the Altoona Mirror (you can Google it):

Throughout the world, children have asked Santa for dinosaurs, art supplies, Squishmallows, video game consoles, sporting equipment and remote-controlled “fart machines.”

“I’ve had about five kids ask me for one this year. I don’t even know what a fart machine is,” Santa said. “It’s not even a whoopie cushion.”

Santa said he refuses to bring money as a gift to children since it can’t be made at the North Pole. 

“I also do not like to promise young children cellphones,” Santa said.

OK, one more thing. No more Boise or SMU next year — and a little less Big Ten. That is all. Except for this: Do you really expect us to believe there is an Altoona Mirror?