The SEC to Lane Kiffin and LSU: "Up your nose with a rubber hose!"

“Up your nose with a rubber hose!” – John Travolta as Vinny Barbarino in the TV sitcom “Welcome Back Kotter”

Essentially, that’s what Greg Sankey and the Southeastern Conference said to LSU, its entire administration, athletic director and football coach Lane Kiffin Thursday afternoon when they filed a lawsuit in Federal District Court in Birmingham on the grounds that LSU violates the league’s first amendment right of expressive association.

Let’s skip through all the legal mumbo jumbo for a moment to get to the heart of what just happened. LSU urged some players who had moved on to the NFL to file a lawsuit before a friendly judge in Baton Rouge, who issued a temporary injunction against the Southeastern Conference and NCAA that will allow players already in NFL training camps to return to college to play a fifth year. After about a week of phone calls, meetings and discussions, Greg Sankey and the Southeastern Conference took a two-by-four and smacked everybody but the Tiger Stadium cleanup crew in the face, then for good measure offered a knee to the groin.

Two things to contemplate here: (1) This is a case that the Southeastern Conference is going to win; and (2) the response by Sankey and the SEC was anything but subtle.

First things first.

First amendment right of expressive association in plain English says this: The SEC is a member-by-invitation fraternity/sorority of 16 schools, none of whom had a gun held to their heads when they voluntarily joined the league. In joining this prestigious, powerful and financially lucrative organization, the schools agree to abide by the rules or face punishment for breaking them. You don’t like a rule? Well, you lobby all your buddies who are presidents and athletic directors, then you argue it out at the SEC Spring Meetings in Destin where there is an up-and-down vote. If a majority agrees and the new rules don’t violate the NCAA rules, then there is change. Otherwise, it’s suck it up buttercup. Play by the rules or else you face the wrath of Sankey and the rest of the league.

When the SEC presidents held a vote to oppose LSU and the ruling in the Baton Rouge court, it was 16-0. Even LSU chancellor Wade Rousse voted for it before recusing himself and withdrawing his vote. Rather than back down, LSU remained defiant, prompting the lawsuit in Birmingham on Thursday. The SEC has legal ground to stand on here. The SEC isn’t arguing whether or not the rule is fair. The SEC says these are the rules and if LSU doesn’t like the rules it knows the procedure it has to go through to change them. Furthermore, the SEC is arguing that LSU is a voluntary member of the Southeastern Conference and as a member it agrees to follow the rules or face sanctions if it goes off the rails.

LSU knows the rules but has chosen – some might say quite deviously – to ignore them, perhaps believing the timing and jurisdiction are favorable to run out the clock. That strategy was helpful to Diego Pavia, who beat the NCAA in court for an extra year of eligibility. Perhaps also LSU believes the SEC lacks the guts to hit back with anything other than a slap on the wrist and not the draconian sanctions being suggested by Georgia attorney general Chris Carr, who believes expulsion from the league is appropriate.

Whatever the reasoning, LSU has decided it’s worth it. In Lane Kiffin-think, any publicity whether good or bad keeps him in the limelight. Sometimes it's best to remember that old saying discretion is the better part of valor.

Kiffin’s indiscretion is exactly the kind of thing that irritates Greg Sankey, who just so happens to be the single most powerful individual in all of collegiate athletics. Sankey’s nature is to resolve things behind closed doors, but when cornered there is a side of him that retaliates in a vigorous, leave no doubt who holds the cards manner. The choice of Federal District Court in Birmingham, the headquarters city of the Southeastern Conference, is a cannon shot across the bow of the dinghy that is LSU’s boat about to sink.

While the SEC was filing its lawsuit in Birmingham, Baton Rouge judge William Jorden, was hearing testimony regarding the temporary injunction he issued in favor of 44 athletes who are trying to return to college after testing the pro waters. Jorden ruled that 37 of the 44 athletes have no connection to the SEC, therefore no standing. That leaves seven including tight end Dae’Quan Wright and defensive tackle Zxavier Harris, who played for Kiffin at Ole Miss last year and who were both in NFL training camps. Kiffin, it is alleged, urged Wright, Harris and presumably others to file suit to regain their collegiate eligibility.

Sankey spent three hours in Baton Rouge defending the SEC’s opposition to Judge Jorden’s ruling. Wright testified that he made “seven figures” of NIL money at Ole Miss but none while in the Cleveland Browns training camp. Harris testified that while he signed an NFL contract with the New Orleans Saints, he never got paid. Their testimony might sway Judge Jorden, a fixture in the Baton Rouge community. He’s a Southern University School of Law grad whose wife grew up in Baton Rouge. Given that Sankey’s appearance in Baton Rouge required extra security measures, it seems rather unlikely that Judge Jorden will issue an unfavorable ruling for Wright and Harris.

The way LSU seems bent on making this a bare knuckles fight, it seems a quick ruling in favor of Wright and Harris is in store since LSU has until Friday to turn in its roster for the Saturday night opener with Clemson at Tiger Stadium.

Local judge vs. the mighty SEC might sell well in the state of Louisiana, but shouldn’t factor in Federal Court in Birmingham because the SEC has chosen wisely to center its lawsuit on the fact that LSU is a league member by choice and has voluntarily chosen both to follow the rules and the way to arbitrate disagreements. LSU might try to sell this on the doctrine of fairness, but fairness has nothing to do with the SEC lawsuit.

The SEC says rules are rules. A 60-yard field goal counts the same three points as one from point blank range. A half court buzzer beater counts the same as a 21-foot jumper from the corner. A 400-foot home run counts the same as a pop fly down the line that carries a few inches past the 325-foot sign. If coaches want to change the rules, they have a procedure to follow in the offseason.

The SEC has rules already in place that LSU wants changed. The SEC is standing by its rules that have been in place for awhile, rules that by its voluntary membership in the SEC LSU has agreed to abide by. Once again, LSU can argue until the cows come home that the rule isn’t fair, but fairness has nothing to do with the way the SEC has chosen to fight.

To sum it up, again not in Southernese and not legalese, this is the equivalent of LSU bringing a pocket knife to a gun fight by choosing to match Lane Kiffin’s wits against those of Greg Sankey. There is a reason why those who know him will swear that Greg Sankey is always the smartest guy in the room.    

He might not have said it out loud, but Greg Sankey’s actions on behalf of the SEC say it loud and clear to Kiffin and LSU: “Up your nose with a rubber hose!”