Buddy Martin Blog: Dan Mullen Is Not Steve Spurrier or Urban Meyer. And He’s Not Ted Lasso, Either.

Photo by Chris Spears

These are the late autumn days of long shadows that may obscure the true action on the field, but not the true personality of the team and real identity of its coaches, which eventually come to the light anyway. Mullen is not Spurrier or Meyer, but neither is he garbage, or chopped liver or a coach who went to seed in 12 months.

I’ve been around football coaches all my life. For the most part I’ve liked them – a few were even close friends. Generally they are well-meaning guys, good people who give far more than they take, intent on making boys into good men and contributing to a better universe. Most truly do care about teaching The Right Stuff and enhancing the character of players.

They are passionate people, as committed to the singular purpose of winning games as the matador is to defeating the bull. They are also very human, although on occasion they often try to portray someone or something that isn’t. And they are inevitably compared to each other. Which brings us to the curious case of an identity crisis for Dan Mullen.

Dan Mullen is not Steve Spurrier or Urban Meyer. Their records were similar for a brief period during his first 35 games; Mullen’s early speed outpaced them, but ended after the 29-6 imploded into 34-14. Gator fans, confused over how they could have gotten it so wrong, are licking their wounds and wondering whether they still believe We Are The Boys Who Won’t Back Down, and if Mullen is the right person to guide them out of the woods. They are as deep in those woods as Hansel and Gretel, as deep as any team in a long time.

After 11 hugely disappointing weeks on the heels of a three-game losing streak at the end of last season, it’s show-and-sell time for Mullen. Who is he? What happened to magic he brought to Gainesville the day he got off the plane chomping?

This we know: He is coaching for his job, career and reputation in these next two games. He might survive another loss, since that could still make Florida bowl eligible, but there is this eerie feeling of borrowed time. Thrashing at the deep end of the pool, it appeared the 49-year-old coach was about to go under for the third time Saturday in the most embarrassing victory – is that even a term? – in which the defense gave up more points in the first half of any Gator football team in 110 years. It weighs heavily on the hearts and minds of all Gators, including Mullen.

These are the late autumn days of long shadows that may obscure the true action on the field, but not the true personality of the team and real identity of its coaches, which eventually come to the light anyway. Mullen is not Spurrier or Meyer, but neither is he garbage, or chopped liver or a coach who went to seed in 12 months. Just as he’s not Spurrier or Meyer, neither is Shane Beamer a Spurrier, nor Jimbo Fisher a Nick Saban, nor Brian Harsin a Shug Jordan, nor Lane Kiffin a Johnny Vaught, or Josh Heupel a Phil Fulmer. Well, you get the idea…

I see no reason to replay what my colleague Carlton Reese referred to as “A Nightmare on Lemerand” because the rule for nightmares is that you don’t tell them the next morning. As for you Gators who want Mullen gone, I understand, because he might not be the best guide for Hansel and Gretel to emerge from the forest. I do defend his right for a chance to fight his way out. Yet I can’t muster the confidence that they deserve the role as 10-point favorites at Missouri Saturday.

Yes, Humpty Dumpty has fallen and the program is swirling down drainword, consumed by rumors of massive decommitments, long transfer portal cue lines and secret lists of coaching replacements. Frankly it’s just hearsay at the moment -- downright depressing and exhausting.

Some disgruntled fans are sneering and taunting over the video of a jubilant lockerroom celebrating after that “nightmarish” 70-52 win over tiny Samford. Mullen was quick to say that mocking victory was disrespectful – and he’s not wrong about that.

So what I’m going to do this week is wait and see, or look in a different direction. It’s often so painful that fans look away, turn off the TV, curse the coach or the program on social media, call for his head, castigate the players as a sorry bunch, grouse at the water cooler or over coffee on Monday at the office, threaten to give up their tickets and whimper on their pillows at night. I’m giving Mullen a shot to see if he’s got anything left in the tank.

We’re not going to have pity parties, even for the coaches that get fired. Some of us feel badly for them, but with a reported $12 million buyout in place, Dan Mullen would have numerous other opportunities – including Nick Saban’s home for rehabilitated coaches.

Heck, sometimes we turn to fiction for an escape.

Ted Lasso isn't Dan Mullen. And Dan Mullen is not Steve Spurrier. (Photo Courtesy Ted Lasso)

I love me some Ted Lasso. It took me a year to find him on Apple TV and another few months before learning that my five-year-old, not-so-smart, big screen TV couldn’t dial it in before I finally resorted to watching it on my laptop. Then I couldn’t get enough of this fictional character, Jason Sudeikis, playing an American football pro coach as he tries to take the reins of a New Premier League team AFC Richmond despite having no experience coaching English soccer. I binge-watched five episodes. And I can’t lie – I’ll do another couple of hours soon.

Why do I do this? Honestly, I find Ted Lasso funny, committed, honest, grateful, considerate and somebody brave enough to fight through a losing season for the greater good. He doesn’t have a $12 million buyout, but he has the guts enough to say it’s more about relationships than wins. Which, of course, means Gator fans would want to fire him in 10 minutes.

In the course of commiserating over the “terrible” win Saturday, some of us clicked on the Florida-Florida State basketball game and witnessed the Gators winning, 71-55. Much to surprise, this Mike White team finally beat the Seminoles, breaking a seven-game losing streak, despite FSU’s talented roster of recruits. And BTW, we could still hear the “Fire Mike White” echoes left over in the O’Connell Center.

Sound familiar?

It got me to thinking, when was the last time the Gators beat the Seminoles in both football and basketball the same year? Well, it was 2012. With the strong showing in this basketball win over the ‘Noles, it might make that Nov. 27 football game in The Swamp even more crucial. You don’t suppose … Nah, that would be too positive a thing to say.